Well we just graduated nearly 25 from the Conflict Resolution Captain Series course. What a great group it was. I loved the open and honest conversation and the readiness to learn and apply. We don’t talk about ‘conflict’ much in the day-to-day. And yet it seems to be an often-present part of the day-to-day. At Phoenix it doesn’t come in the form of fist fighting in the hallways but it does raise its head in more passive ways. Our class gave examples: shutting down, disconnecting, avoiding one another, sudden whispering when another enters the room, refusal to listen, apathy, complaining with no solutions, negativity, setting someone else to fail… all forms of conflict although passive forms.
I did gather that it is not a huge issue in our culture but it is still something about which we need to be aware and openly discuss. Unresolved conflict accounts for 65% of voluntary turnover. WHY??? Because we want to LOVE our work and be a part of something. So when conflict makes that difficult we are sad and disappointed. So good people who cannot find a way to fix it -often leave.
What can we DO about conflict? We cannot ignore it. We cannot be afraid of it. We must communicate our way through it and manage it. We must hold each other accountable to not let it grow. We must not just turn our heads and act as though it doesn’t affect us. This is OUR CULTURE.
Every flight has a little turbulence. It is natural.
What do you think we should do to manage conflict when it does arise?
Conflict often arises as a result of poor communication. We come to our own conclusions based on the incomplete information we have. When people trying to accomplish a project share details they sometimes think people don’t need, people have a better understanding of the whole picture and have a better understanding of their part. They also understand why things have to be or can’t be a certain way.
We learned that conflict is something to be managed. That means not ignoring it or running from it. You have to face it and deal with it. Well managed conflicts often result in greater understanding and better teamwork.
Sometimes when you are the one in the middle of the conflict it’s easy to get lost in the “it needs to be my way” perspective. Sometimes you just need better understanding of why it needs to be another way. And somebody needs to help you understand with information, not beatings. Terri’s demonstration of the downside of physical violence to solve a problem was very enlightening. I will never provoke her like that again. OK, the violence part didn’t really happen. We all got along and learned a lot that I think will help us work together and rise above together.
Paul – LOVE your comments – – glad you cleared up the part about the fist fight! Great recap of the learning. Thanks for commenting.
What else did we learn new graduates?
Love this Paul — so true. “Seek first to understand… then to be understood.” Though I attended this class previously, I’ll take a few reminders and refreshers any time! 🙂 I’m learning to walk-the-walk of seeking first to understand right now.
Unresolved conflict or ignoring conflict doesn’t make it go away. Instead it feeds the conflict and makes the space grow bigger. It disables you and others. It is the opposite goal or mission that we are endeavoring upon. We want to resolve and enable good relationships. I too enjoyed Terri’s class and there is always so much to learn from her and everyone else in the classes. Thank you!
As always Terri I loved your class and learned so much. Ditto what Paul said! When we are in the midst of conflict, we need to remember to step back and take a breath, or two, or three, before we try to resolve the conflict. If we go in to try to resolve the conflict when our emotions are high, it could backfire and we could have a bigger conflict.
This class was critical in the sense that conflicts do arise, and we have the tools to effectively manage turbulence and restore relations. On the other hand, conflict is important and can create great discussion and solutions. I found it very helpful that Terri mentioned that even the tone of an email can be perceived differently than intended. I know I have been guilty of “reading between the lines” and a simple misinterpretation can cause unnecessary strife and could be prevented with honest and open communication.
I loved this class. I feel Terri brought so much out for us to reference to anytime we perceive we have a conflict. I feel this is such a great lesson we can carry over to our personal lives not just our work place.
Terri, I appreciate this blog a great deal. Anything that causes negative energy undermines the very life blood of an organization. Our work is demanding enough without having to overcome negative energy in getting it accomplished.
Loved this class! I think it is extremely important to face conflict head on. Remember not to point fingers, but try to understand the situation. Come to a resolution and grow into a better individual and team.
I loved this class!
I think it is very helpful to have a way to let our company learn more about how to work together and be a team. We learned some very helpful tools on how to work things out and be understanding and see things in a new or fresh perspective. It is always better to talk it through instead of assuming things and letting it get out of control. Take control from the start and all things will work out so much better in the end!
Thank you Terri for presenting this class to us in a fun and unique way!
I thought I would add to what I said before…
With managing Conflict, it is a task we have to tackle each and every day.
It is, most of the time, very difficult but if we go into that situation with the correct mindset then we can overcome whatever that conflict throws at us. We will develop more confidence as we learn to handle each one with the right attitude.
Recently I came across some very difficult conflict (Non work related) and It was very hard for me to trust God and let him Guide me through. I came to point through many tears and heart ache that there isn’t more I can do except stand tall, be a prayer warrior, and trust that soon the conflict will pass and I will have become a stronger, more confidant person. It took a while for the conflict to resolve but God definitely came through and showed me how I can manage anything that comes my way as long as I trust in Him!
I have taken this class twice now and i feel that each time I walked away with a new understanding on how to manage conflict!
Have a great day! ?
I loved this class. We learned how to engage in Conflict Resolution with
1. discussion- more communication
2. written- when maybe it is too hot to talk f2f
3. mediation- our Flight recovery
4. compromise- agreeing to give a little
5. voting- when no one can agree
6. 3rd alternative- this is the biggest idea of all!
Conflict! Can we really escape it? NO…. it is unavoidable. But, Terri does an excellent job of providing us strategies on how to focus on behavior and events, not on personality. She coaches on leadership development, creating a plan to work on the conflict and follow through on your plan. Nobody likes conflict, but the fact that Terri is willing to assist you 1:1, if needed to guide you through the process as a leader is powerful. Sadly, conflict in the workplace takes up a lot of time and energy which decreases our productivity.
You will leave this class feeling equipped to deal with the prevalence of conflict in the workplace (and with your kiddos). AWESOME CLASS!!!!